big green.

After a nearly tearful goodbye with my new Aussie buds Suz, Wayne and Greg and promises to stay in touch... I headed to the New Zealand Air ticketing counter where I continued pretending my carry-on and my "purse" did not weigh 30+ pounds each (my shoulders were bruised but my complete set of tiny toiletries and 2 changes of clothes kept me comfortable in this unexpected visit to LA). I told the woman who was clearly not a Kiwi and a LA native (the gold lipstick was a dead giveaway) that I missed my flight and my bag was probably still in LAX. She typed in my baggage number and assured me my lime green, monster-of-a-bag would be on the flight with me. At this point, I was not holding my breath. Everything after that was smooth sailing. I went through security, up to the gate and got my first feeding since my 6am egg and fruit. It was 6pm. I had been eating my stash of Twizzlers throughout the day (and sharing with my fellow displaced travelers) so you can imagine my lightheaded-ness and lack of clarity. I scored big for the second time with airport food and got a mozzarella, sun-dried tomato and pesto baguette. It was $13 with a (much deserved) coke... but delicious. A quick call to my almost non-teenage sister and I was off to New Zealand!

The flight was fine. I had a glass of wine and passed out. It was glorious. I slept the whole time. And I should... I was exhausted. After a quick freshening up of my hair and change of clothes in the Auckland airport (and the security officer telling me she had relatives in Miami) I was on the last leg of my journey. Finally. It was pretty surreal. A few movies and a beer with breakfast later. we were landing in Melbourne. The flight attendant/ air hostess (I'm still not sure what the proper term is) gave me a pep talk about things happening for a reason and we decided that all this happened because I met great people, reunited with Liliana, and that now I would take travel insurance out next time... we were still working on why her car cost $3000 to fix.

Arriving at the airport, breezed through the passport control. The woman asked me if I was going to Ocean Grove for the beach.. and I just blurted out "that's where my boyfriend is... it's been so long" and she said "oh how long has it been?" and I said "oh only a month and some but i've just been stuck in LA for days... Stupid Delta!" And she said "GO!" as she stamped my passport with a smile and shooed me through to reunite with Luke. I almost just went straight through the customs part where you collect your bag and go through the exit being checked one more time by an officer. I knew Big Lime wasn't there. I just wanted to see Luke. But for fear of being eaten by the attack customs beagle for not following protocol... I waited, with a small glimmer of hope, that my obnoxious, fluro bag would pop out of that tunnel and onto the shimmering belt of goodness. Nope. I made my way to yet another baggage office and made my claim. The woman told me my bag was in New Zealand. I was more than impressed. She said it would be delivered to Luke's house this evening. (Upon calling the number later to check on the Jolly Green Giant, I was told it was still in LA and would be there "tomorrow".... another call the next day gave me the eta of "tomorrow".... 2 days.. or 3 I'm still a little off with the time loss.. of washing my 2 changes of clothes... my bag is delivered by a man with a work shirt that matches Limey exactly. That made my day). Anyway, with my claim made, I burst through the security doors to find Luke still waiting (he probably thought I missed another flight by now) and was greeted with open arms (on my bruised shoulders). I'm sure it was pretty cute.

Two international tickets, some stress and adventure later... I'm finally, here. Sitting by the fire (because it's freezing.. but beautiful when the sun comes out). It only took me forever and a thousand more dollars to do it.. but I made it. My Aussie friends made it too. All three got on the standby flight they were hoping for the same night as me and also were one bag lighter upon arrival. Hooray for travel!

I will be writing strongly-worded letters and posts on some other blog things about my experience with Delta and NZ Air in hopes to get my money back. Apart from the money though, it was certainly an adventure and I'm glad it happened with Suz, Wayne, and Greg (and Liliana!).

Hopefully nothing this monumental happens too soon to have to come up with more nicknames for people. I feel like Chelsea Handler. (I read her book "Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea" in it's entirety on the plane to LA from Detroit. I had to cover my mouth and turn into the window to hide my laughter. Thanks, Casey).

p.s. The birds are awesome here. In the backyard I saw a bunch of parrots and a flock of black cockatoos flew over yesterday. All wonderful people.

really?

At this point, I felt my trip had been hexed by some witch doctor I pissed off. However, I don't remember encountering any doctors (witch or otherwise) who I have wronged. To update those who don't know (not that anyone reads my blog yet): I had the funds to get to Australia a few months ago, then Buckles (the cat) decided he had beef with the pit bull across the street and $700, some stitches, and one of those stupid martini collars later, my funds had been liquidated. So I did the logical thing: sell all the furniture in the house before I was ready (or Chanel was ready) to move out. Along with some generous donations and super-dog walking on my part... I had enough again. So I booked a really good ticket with Air New Zealand to get to Australia by Luke's birthday and then booked the flight from Tampa to LAX afterwards (I was trying to see if I could use miles on United but it didn't work so I had to book a Delta ticket separately). All was in order. A few days before I left I sold my car to a close, personal friend, so I had a "nest egg" on the way to my bank account to begin my second Australian adventure.

So I started my trip, made it to Detroit where I had the best airport seaweed salad ever (not that I have anything to compare it to) and completed my first layover (out of three) and got on the plane to LAX. An hour later...... we got off the ground with the pilot speeding (I guess) and getting us to LAX still on time-ish. I wasn't worried, I had the recommended 2 hour layover before I had to get on my flight to New Zealand. Two hours later, we are still on the runway because there aren't enough tug boats to pull us in, and there is construction, and they are understaffed and Delta and LAX are collectively trying to make people not want to leave their homes. I think janitors were pulling us in with their teeth from what I gathered. My flight was at 11:45 and we finally got off the plane at 12:10 or so. After the "agents" promised to be at the arrival gate to help us were absent.... there was no further help. No help at all. NONE. No Delta person could tell me if my connecting flight had been delayed, or had left or where it was (Each terminal at LAX is NOT connected to one another and you have to go outside and take a bus if you want to get somewhere other than Delta). The only response I got out of this vapid, excuse for a human being was "they won't hold the plane for you". Which did not answer any question I had. She was incapable of checking the computer in front of her fatass (she wasn't fat but I hate her) to tell me if my flight was even.. anywhere. After wandering around looking for help. I ended up at the "special services" line for probably another 2 hours of just waiting in the line of disgruntled travelers only to have a portly ethnic woman tell me "she confused and don't know what ta do and that I gotta go to this new zealand counter (which is not open at 3 in the morning) and talk to dem"

After chatting with some people in line I heard I needed a piece of paper that says Delta f-ed up and that's why I missed my flight. ....after my less than informative encounter with the round one, I talked to a mexican man who I think was blind or had cataracts, or needed to clean his glass eyes... who gave me a military excuse... basically a doctor's note saying I was excused from P.E. that's what he came up with. My new acquaintances, the Australian line-standers, came of a different flight but had the same problem. Their continuing ticket was not with Delta. Long story short, my new best friends raised some hell, went through two of these agents (one just walked off when her shift was over.. the chocolate-covered marshmallow) and finally finding one who was actually trying to help us. Lovely lady. ..... in the meantime I was on the phone to Air New Zealand... or New Zealand Air and getting the same story that because I booked my tickets seperately, they couldn't just put me on the next flight for the price I paid. My mom was also on the phone at dark thirty becoming chummy with the head of NZ air and still I have to buy a new ticket. So another sum of money later...... my flight is booked but I have nowhere to stay. My new best friends took care of that and got two hotel vouchers for themselves (they are a lovely young couple just back from Vegas, Suze and Wayne) and gave me one. We picked up another weary Aussie traveller (also a hell-raiser) Greg... and tried to get our bags out of lockdown. That didn't happen. We used the baggage office as our headquarters to make more angry international phone calls and then at 6am (*reminder.. we've been angry in LAX for 6 hours now*) decided to head to the Holiday inn with our shuttle vouchers (I did get one of those in my name) and had a delicious and delirious "brekky" full of American accent impressions (New Jersey Specifically... there's a video. i'll see if i can get my hands on that and some other great pictures taken through the event) and talk of different variations on bacon and placement of pancakes in relation to the bacon and eggs. After breakfast, I retired to my penthouse floor room, showered and passed out on my choice of "soft" pillow. wonderful. I think the top floor caters to Asian business men.. There is a tea set and an instant hot water thing in my room, along with a rice cooker around the corner from my room.

So I am in the company of great and kind people in a comfortable place with a ticket booked to see Luke only 9 or so hours later than planned. things are looking up. I take advantage of the free wifi and update my facebook status to find my nanny/second mom Liliana and her family were a mile away randomly checking my page on mer new iphone. Moments later there is a full blown reunion in the lobby and it's just wonderful.

So besides the purchase of the new ticket and some tears shed and Delta/LAX being crap... I made some new friends and had a reunion.

Posting pictures soon. On to lunch and the airport.

The journey begins.

So I've started my journey. With many goodbyes and well wishers and visitors this week... I'm off to Australia. (via Detroit, LA, and New Zealand). I have made it to Detroit (where the airport has a Jetsons tram inside and the occasional jungle noise). After a 3 hour layover and sushi at the airport, I'm about to get on the plane to LAX where I will have the shortest of my 3 layovers. 8 hours in NZ... Can't wait.

(Jetsons Tram)